The worries

Long time no write. A bunch of stories that worth to be written. Some peacefully write in my diary. And here's the rest.
Well, this is my trouble. I don't really sure when it's time to open a new page on my site or on my diary. I couldn't really find the difference. Nothings too private I think. Sometimes I think imma an open book. Yet sometimes I think I should keep a thing private so that I ll have something special to be talked with my significant others :(

Well, now...
Here's the thing that I want to share.
I'm in a horrible worries.
Tomorrow is my first competition. English debate. At UNPAD.
That was really like a long time ago since I was in the similar competition.
Kind of a year ago.

I'm afraid.
Really.
I afraid what if I  disappointed my team mates.
Kak Gaby. She's fucking great with her analysis.
Kak Rora. She's so damn good with her narrative pronunciation.

I'm afraid that I messed up.
I'm afraid if I didn't make this up, I ll have no chance for my future career in debating.
Hft
I really afraid messed up the shits

...
I swear...

I hope I made it

Ah
Then, as I always have to, emphasize the purpose of this writing at the very first place...
See it from another positive perspective.
I really have to feel like this, so that I wouldn't feel so much high as an expert then get selfish, don't wanna improve my capacity anymore. Nah, we dont like that.

 I should feel thirsty. And here's probably the way Allah slaps me right on the ass.
Feel the fear!
Yet there's a sky up to a sky.

Extend the comfort zone!
I have to keep struggling so that i ll be the better me in the future. Lead those hard worker asses to be me. Inspire people.

It should be a challenge to  get another great story.
I won't give up.
Even if, even if I didn't make it. Allah's plan would be always the greatest, right?
Bismillah



Depok, Feb 26th 2016
00.49 am
Under the rain
The worrying me