Monday 29 February 2016

I Learnt

Remember my last post about the competition?
So here's how the things were going on.

we leave at 6.00 p.m from Depok, that was kinda traffic, so we arrived at Bandung around 9.30 pm
I picked up by Fajar as i had planned before.
He brought me to my girl friend's place: Gita.

They gave me a very great hospitality. Really. Thanks a lot for you guys, so i could save a lot of money instead of paying for hotels lol.

1st day.
1st prelim
i was so nervous.
My first rival was UKCW or UK something. i forgot the name of their institute. there were 3 girls. my team as Opposition, the adjudicator was Kak Omar, under the motions, Em, if im not mistaken. THW let indigenous people punish enviromental cimer. Me as the opp, dont like it to happen, and Alhamdulillah, we manage that to happen. we won that :)

2nd prelim
Its also the 2nd day. my opponent was PCU, Parahyangan Catholic University. there were 3 dudes in their teams. that was tougher than before. i even looked a lil bit more nervous Kak Gaby (My teammate, my pro) said.
We were government. We won that 2nd prelim :)

3rd prelim
Hell ya, that was UGM A, the team who's already senior. come on dudes, this is my 1st competition. But still, I was struggling, put my best effort, faced that UGM A as good as i could.  the adjudicator was kak Ian, kak Aldi's twin.
Kak Gaby and Kak Rora said that i improved a lot compared with previous stage. Yet we lose but thats okay. i can take that. at least i made improvement. And yea, they're the asses who've been in debating chair like for years. Its okay :)

There were only 3 prelims in 1st days. It resulted UI A (Kak Rora-Me-Kak Gaby) 2 victory points. UI B (Irfan-Kak Kris-Shilla) 3 vp, UI C(Ave-Laras-Kak Andre) 2 vp.
That's okay.
we'll improve a lot tomorrow, my heart said.

2nd day

4th prelim
That was Undip A who i had been underestimated at the very first place. but hell yea, we lose. It thaught me i should never ever underestimate any universities based on their name. Of course. Undip A was quite good. that was a nice debate.

5th prelim
We manage to win after beat EDS Unsoed C. that was good too. they're quite good.
We win :) under the motion THW Nationalize cyber security companies.

Then.
The teams who broke to pre-oktofinal got announced.
Oh my.
i was worry as fuck
we only won 3 stages.

UI B break as 5th with 4 vp
UI C break as 7th with 3 vp
UI A break as 10th with 3 vp as well.

It was a shame as the A team but i only managed to break as 10th. but that's not really the matter, i had to do my best.

Unfortunately. the 16 teams had to battle. And the system resulted my team, UI A, had to battle with UI C.
Under the motion, We gonna subsidize woman who studied in STEM majors (Science, Techno, Engine, Math). My team was the government. the adjudicators were Kak Romario, Kak Ian, and Kak Dhika)

We were on octofinal. as the only UI team who broke. (yea, UI B were failed at the pre-okto)

We were going to face BINUS A
In a sudden, i had to be as a 1st speaker, as Kak Gaby's instruction.
And i did well. i can say i did so well tbh.
i was quite confidence that my team gonna proceed to Semifinal.
But,
the fate didnt say so. I had to learn harder. BINUS A as the opposition site of the house won the case.

We lose.
Under the motion: As NATO, THW increase millitary army presence in arctic region in response to Rusia.

We made it. but unclear burden of proof  and models, made us cant be counted much. we lose.
Kak Rora cried.
Kak Gaby said she was sad although he still managed to laugh and cherish us.
I learnt.

I have to work much harder.
there are so many fvcking awesome debaters out there.
i ll put my best, so that someday i'll probably be as cool as UGM A who swept all the 5 preliminary rounds.

For the opponents, coaches (Kak Cara Kak Alif), Judges, teammates, partners, friends, supporters, i thank you all.
I learnt.
and will, still, learn.

-laft
-ur Pro wannabe. Amen

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Thursday 25 February 2016

The worries

Long time no write. A bunch of stories that worth to be written. Some peacefully write in my diary. And here's the rest.
Well, this is my trouble. I don't really sure when it's time to open a new page on my site or on my diary. I couldn't really find the difference. Nothings too private I think. Sometimes I think imma an open book. Yet sometimes I think I should keep a thing private so that I ll have something special to be talked with my significant others :(

Well, now...
Here's the thing that I want to share.
I'm in a horrible worries.
Tomorrow is my first competition. English debate. At UNPAD.
That was really like a long time ago since I was in the similar competition.
Kind of a year ago.

I'm afraid.
Really.
I afraid what if I  disappointed my team mates.
Kak Gaby. She's fucking great with her analysis.
Kak Rora. She's so damn good with her narrative pronunciation.

I'm afraid that I messed up.
I'm afraid if I didn't make this up, I ll have no chance for my future career in debating.
Hft
I really afraid messed up the shits

...
I swear...

I hope I made it

Ah
Then, as I always have to, emphasize the purpose of this writing at the very first place...
See it from another positive perspective.
I really have to feel like this, so that I wouldn't feel so much high as an expert then get selfish, don't wanna improve my capacity anymore. Nah, we dont like that.

 I should feel thirsty. And here's probably the way Allah slaps me right on the ass.
Feel the fear!
Yet there's a sky up to a sky.

Extend the comfort zone!
I have to keep struggling so that i ll be the better me in the future. Lead those hard worker asses to be me. Inspire people.

It should be a challenge to  get another great story.
I won't give up.
Even if, even if I didn't make it. Allah's plan would be always the greatest, right?
Bismillah



Depok, Feb 26th 2016
00.49 am
Under the rain
The worrying me
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