Friday 27 June 2014

pertemuan

okay he s killing me. <3 him -_-

Allahuakbar. mungkin ini kata pertama yang bisa gambarin seberapa wonderfulnya Tuhan itu, Allah itu :')
well, inget postingan gue terakhir yang galau abis gegara gak ikut NSDC kan?
NAH!
tepat setelah tulisan itu gue posting,
telfon dari guru bahasa inggris gue masuk
mengabarkan, kalau gue harus berangkat ke rocky malam itu juga, somehow, kami ikut NSDC!gue nyampe Rocky jam setengah 3 pagi, tidur satu setengah jam, jam 4 tepat mandi, nyari data
dan ke kamar Ridho (yang dimana juga kamarnya yudha), mintak kertas mosi

deg deg deg
Yudha tau keberadaan gue
jadi pagi itu pas dapet kertas mosi dari kamar ya ridho 334, gue balik ke kamar gue, 346!
yudha sms, dia udah didepan kamar, ah menggila, gue belum siap ketemu, not that fast beib
jadi dia nelfon, bilang dia udah di depan kamar, gue bilang jangaaaan
yaudah dia balik kekamarnya ._.
but HOWEVER, kita pasti bakalan ketemu. pasti

dan jeng jeng ternyata, kami se pool, pool E. yang artinya kami harus battle, jadi, battle pertama gue, dia. with motion: THW Legalize Prostitution
njer, mosi nyaaaaah -_-
kami negative dan mereka affirmatve~
selain lawan yudha, gue juga battle sama pasbar, dengan mosi yang intinya melarang iklan tobacco, dan gue affirmative

well, biar ini clear, mari kita bagi alur sungai ini
cerita tentang debate itself dan romance yang gue dapet disana,  best 3 days ever, quality time bangetlahhaha

firstly, mari kita bahas debatenya
debatenya hot, setelh hari pertama kami menang 2 kali dari 2 pertandingan, kami langsung lanjut hari ke dua
di hari kedua, kami lawan tim sumbar A. kami gak gentar sama sekali, mosinya menegakkan kurikulum 2013, kami positif, the debate was hot, meskipun kami gak menang, tapi kami adalah pemenangnya ;)
HaHa
think positive is much important broooh

teruus, tim ridho kalah di semi ngelawan tim oghee dari payakumbuh. sumpahlah oghee tu unik dan keren kali..
speechnya mantap, walaupun bukan dia yang juara 1

segitu aja lah debatenya,
kita bahas yudha aja lagi ya
dari awal
jadi pagi rabu tu,  gue lagi membawa sepiring nasigoreng, dan ternyata ada yang manggil.. "woy"
gue ngeliat dong ya, dan ternyata dia lagi tersenyum dan berhasil bikin gue meliting ditempat, gue gak sanggup liat lebih lama, gue mepet ke tembok dan menjauh, mayuuuu :3
abis tu ngomong di lobi hotel,
hari selanjutnya ke bar, duduk, cerita, rebutan hp, tukeran hp, minjemin laptop, dianterin ke kamar, dijemput, dan setiap physical contact yg terjadi secara gak sengaja berhasil bikin gue ngerasa kesentrum sama arus ribuan voltase, menusuk sampai ke ujung jemari kaki.

ah sumpah,
1 jam yg lalu ketika huruf pertama postingan ini gue buat, gue lagi semangat banget, tapi setelah barusan dapet sms dari bestie gue yg cerita seberapa parah skinship dia yang dengan pasrahnya jadi objek ungkapan sayang dgn cara romantis yang sehat dari pacarnya, bikin gue ngerasa kehilangan sense mau ngelanjutin semangat ini,
bukan apa apa.... apa yang kami lewatin masih belum apaapa ternyata... wajar, kami baru enambulan ketimbang mereka yang duatahun. heheee :D

semoga pertemuan selanjutnya lebih berkesan.... :)
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Tuesday 24 June 2014

stay strong

Bleeding

have you ever had a dream, did everything for it, almost reach it, until all you need is just one step closer to that dream, but it just fucking dissapear in a sudden?
well, i ever.


i dont need to explain that i was an economic olympiad member which focused on debate to make it harder. i wont.
let we just begin this wound from the middle of this story, when i lose everything.


okay, i do not interested to share every single wound that i feel to make it more drama, but ill explain it simply by a sentence: its more than just hurted.

i hope you get my point when read that sentence

well, can i dissapear from this rudely life? i want to
too tired
in the night, i cried a whole night, i smile to everyone and said "im alright, its okay" biggest lie that i ever did. BIGGEST
i really am not okay at that time, really.
its TOO HARD FOR ME, i cant stand it, god :'(

in the night i texted my boyfriend, the only one who knows how it the most, even he doesnt know the full story, even he couldnt change anything, but at least i release this hard feeling.  let me save it safe in my heart. i fall to the deepest point in my life. oh god. i realize, it might be the things that would be my saddest experience, remember i have no idea when my teacher in english time asking what is my saddest experience and i still confuse

after this time, everything might be different. the smile wouldnt same anymore, never, the way i hope and the way i reach, would change, how mature i fate this life, it just fucking changes.

my friends are fighting now, today, and oh hell yeah can i just go away now? HARDFORME AND SOMEBODY PLEASE UNDERSTAND! I DONT NEED THE USELESS ADVICE THAT "IT MIGHT NOT UR WAY YET, REMEMBER THERES STILLL OTHER WAY! OR WHATEVER, I DONT NEED THAT! ALL I WANT IS THIS WAY! THE WAY THAT I CE DREAMED SINCE LONG TIME AGO!"
but, nobody care.
beside that, i ALWAYS HOPE THE BEST, i swear, Fighting guys :D :')



i still have a god who loves me anyway. this is the only one thing that keep me spirit. and undercontrol.
Astagfirullahaladzim :')

I'm still bleeding

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